Meh

Meh: a term to convey deep feelings of dissatisfaction. Appropriate in circumstances that do not go according to plan, and otherwise negatively affect the intended outcome.

Today was such a day. But these days must happen occasionally. You know what I’m talking about. Days where the planets seem to be (mis) aligned, and everything in your miniscule corner of the universe refuses to go right. Of course these days are usually set in motion by one event in the start of your day, and this was mine.

Picture me this Friday morn, cozy under my quilt and comforter to ward of the late October chill. Sound asleep and dreaming of an infinite number of absurdities while the world goes on without me.

Eight A.M. my mother wakes me for a brief moment to tell me she’s left me a note on the kitchen table for when I get up. I barely register this, and fall right back into my blanket induced coma. My biggest mistake.

Nine to nine thirty, there is a pounding coming from somewhere. I assume it’s at the front door, but the more alert I gradually become the more I realize that it is actually coming from my bedroom door. Slowly I ponder just what would be pounding on my door, when I know my mother has been at work for an hour by now.

My first thought was my feline menace, looking for food and/or attention. Yet the pounding was higher up on my door and very light. My cats launch themselves at the door, they wouldn’t bother to politely wake me by tapping on it.

Then a sliver of a memory surfaces. This was Friday morning, and I had planned something today that required me to be awake and fully prepared earlier than usual. Oh yeah…I was meeting with my mother’s friend who offered to check on our roof for leaks.

I scrambled to put a pair of jeans on from my floor and told them I would be right out. Braless, devoid of all dignity, I rushed to meet them. The whole ordeal took less than fifteen minutes (rough guess). All to find out that he would have to come back later to climb the roof for a better look.

Ridiculously embarrassed by being caught in such a state, it took me an hour to settle down and rationally see that the whole thing meant next to nothing. But starting my day with that tone set it in a poor light. All the stupid things that I normally could care less about crept up into the front of my mind.

1. Wednesday I had planned to meet with a bunch of local writers for a NaNoWriMo write in. Upon arriving I found several people with laptops and other writing assortments, but none of them seemed to be associated with NaNo. You see this would have been my first write in, and I don’t know any body in the group.

Being shy and a severe overthinker, I sat in a corner and pulled out my copy of “No Plot? No Problem!“. I assumed if anyone were here for the write in, they would notice the book and invite me over. Nobody did, so I stayed in my corner for little more than an hour alone. I worked on my plot while nervously looking to see if anyone took an interest in me.

I countered this bad thought with the fact that this time alone and out of my house aided me in finishing my plot. So when November comes, I am fully prepared with a concise plan of action.

2. Later today I was browsing my regional forum of the NaNoWriMo home page. Specifically the forum post regarding my local write in group. There I notice that someone has finally responded to my question.

Little less than a week before the write in date, I had asked if the group were planning to meet at their regular place and time. If they weren’t, when and where were they meeting if they were meeting at all? I watched the post until Wednesday, nobody answered.

Today when I saw my municipal liason finally post a response, I find that nobody had gone to the write in at all. In fact nobody had even planned to go that week. She had, but due to two surgeries that week she understandably could not attend.

Though I could excuse her for not being there, I still find it very annoying that not one person in the regular write in group could bother to reply and tell me they weren’t holding it that week. I wouldn’t have cancelled my alternate plans if I had known.

Yet even this I was able to counter. Before reading that reply, I was being rather harsh on myself for not asking around to see if any of the writing group were there. At least for the sake of introducing myself. But in learning that none of them had come, I am relieved that I didn’t.

At least now I can say that my sixth sense was in some kind of working order that day, preventing me from further embarrassment. So rather than being either ridiculously embarrassed or extremely irritated, all I have to say is Meh.